i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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