Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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