Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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