I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
