I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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