I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
