everyone is single if you try hard enough
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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