Soap is not a condiment
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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