I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
