So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
