I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
