ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
