I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
