sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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