So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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