Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
