The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
