Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
