I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
