tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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