so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
