Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
