I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
