The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
