I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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