i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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