Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
