you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
