also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
