It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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