I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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