There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
