Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
