Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
