how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
