You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize