hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
