do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
