You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think i have herpe
just one?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
