what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
