Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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