I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
