i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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