I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
