Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
