i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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