Whod you bang
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
