So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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