I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
