just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
